Why I love Facebook

Sunday around 7am I let out the dog and opened a kitchen window. Saturday there had been wild thunderstorms that left this morning feeling scrubbed and fresh, fall air nipping at the last days of summer. I opened my laptop at the kitchen table and as it loaded I poured myself a cup of coffee. Then, coffee in hand, I opened Facebook.

Lots of people will groan at that. Couldn’t I (shouldn’t I) be doing something more productive with my time? I could justify that it’s Sunday morning, my time to relax any way I choose, but Facebook is one of the first things I open on my computer everyday.

I think Facebook is wonderful. This is what it gave me Sunday morning:

My Facebook friend Jan announced the birth of her new granddaughter. There were wonderful pictures of Jan and the baby. I refer to Jan as a Facebook friend because I have never met her in person, she lives in Arizona in a town I’d never heard of before I saw it written on her profile. We “met” through a Facebook fan page we both visit regularly. I was sincerely happy to know that a new life, cherished and loved, had entered the world.

Then I saw this picture.

That’s from the Great Ocean Road Tour outside Melbourne, Australia. The picture was posted by my friend Peggy. I know Peggy in person, but she has been living in Australia since last December and Facebook has allowed me to share in her adventure.

Then I saw and clicked the link to an article about a woman I know, Kim McLeod, who has created a conference for mothers and adolescent daughters to strengthen their relationship as they head into the teen years. Kim is passionate about her work, so I was happy to use Facebook to further awareness about her conference, so I shared the link. I’ll share it again now.

Then I reposted this, because it made me laugh and I wanted to make my friends laugh.

These cards pop-up all over the web, but in this instance it was posted by a woman I went to high school with. Back then (class of 1978!) we knew each other kinda/sorta but weren’t really in the same crowd, but through the alchemy of Facebook we’ve connected again. I have several high school friends on Facebook. We didn’t really know each other in the past (we barely knew ourselves back then) and I can’t say I know them that well now, but they lend a certain grounding effect to my life. I like knowing how people are doing, being inspired by their accomplishments, cheering for them when they have a challenge. Facebook is the perfect tonic for the sappy hearted like myself.

I won’t recount every post I read, but in 20 minutes I’d seen the good stuff of life. And best of all, it wasn’t just out there, separate from me. All these people, even if only in a small, small way, are part of my life. And I’m grateful for that.

Kim Reynolds

Dishes

My dishwasher is only washing on the bottom. I know I need to get it repaired, but I keep putting it off because I dread a big repair bill. I know, whinny first world problem. But I’m not here to whine. I’m here to say that washing dishes by hand has been lovely.

I’ve given myself over to the task, taking time to see the pattern on the plates, inhale the fresh scent of the soap, and appreciate the warmth of the water.

My husband and I washed dishes together every night in our first apartment. That was in 1984, he washed, I dried. We talked, we laughed, we flirted. We didn’t have children, we didn’t even have our first cat yet. We wondered how we would ever be able to afford a house, and all the “stuff” you needed to put in it. Dishes were romantic; our dishes, in our home. We weren’t busy yet, we always had time, especially for each other.

We washed dishes together every evening until 1993 when our son was born and we purchased our first home and our first dishwasher. We dropped hand washing without looking back. But maybe we dropped something else too without even realizing it.

We’ve had other homes since then and we certainly acquired all the “stuff” to fill them. We have two kids, two cats and a dog. The speed of life has accelerated. But the kids are much older now. I could certainly have them do the dishes. But I think I’ll invite my husband to join me instead.

 

I think they tie companionship

Slush

I just finished mopping up slush from the tile in the entrance to my home. Even if you are reading this two days or two weeks from this moment, I will likely have just finished mopping up slush again. It’s as common a chore as retrieving rogue drinking glasses from all over the house.

When I whined to my mother that no matter how big the floor mat, the boots are always just an inch or two to the left, dripping into the grout, she of course laughed. Because years ago, she had a mat and I had boots and the world had slush.

So that got me thinking about all the things that stay the same. The way sun feels through the window in the spring, the way the air smells almost sweet in April, the crack of thunder, birdsong, the taste of ketchup on a salty fry, the shape of a snow angel, the rich scent of cut grass. All these little things that were the same for our grandparents, even our great, great great grandparents.

I find that very comforting in a world that seems to change overnight. The next “version” or “update” of something is always just around the corner.

I’m warming up to the idea that women (we all know it was the women) have been mopping up slush for hundreds of years. It makes it feel more significant.

Life gets big and loose. We get so far from ourselves, let alone the distance we feel from generations before us. It’s hard to be clear about our place in the big picture. Maybe slush, sand in a sneaker, the crunch of an apple, the smell of wet mittens; the things that don’t change, are the threads that run through our lives and cinch us all together.

That being said, I’m still going shopping to buy a bigger floor mat.

Kim R.

My New Houseguest

This post appeared last week on another blog I write, so some of you may recognize it. But with so many little details on my plate today, there’s no opportunity for new thoughts. Plus recycling is good right?

I recently purchased a 112 year-old cookbook at an antique show. It was under a table, damaged and crumbling, with a six dollar price tag. I wondered about the kitchens it graced when it was crisp and white and the women who turned its pages out of culinary pleasure or daily duty.

At my own table that evening, I turned the yellow-brown pages out of curiosity. I was looking for a recipe that would drip in flavour and antique charm. Something half-pint and Ma would have whipped up for Pa after he spent a hard day being handsome and honest.

I couldn’t find much that was palatable to my 21st century tongue, in fact it was a recipe for a mushroom sandwich that began with mincing a beef tongue that made me close the cover.

So while I may not cook from it, I will give it a home. It has survived for 112 years. I’m happy to rescue it from the antique show circuit and let it rest again on a kitchen shelf. A story preserved, even if the story is nothing more than crumbling paper and my imagination.

Kim R.

And I thought I loved Chapters..

My writer friend Rhonda Douglas had this link on Facebook this morning. Click the pic to see The 20 most beautiful bookstores in the world.

Me and my Kobo

With passion worthy of a pulpit, I swore I would never buy an e-reader. It’s not a book I shouted. Books have pages that wrinkle, covers that soften and a scent as heavenly as fresh bread. Perhaps I romanticize a little, bibliophiles are like that.

If I bought one of these soulless devices I would be accelerating the demise of real books. Then wouldn’t it serve me right to finally finish my novel, buck all the odds to get it published, only to learn that my years of work would never exist in solid form. No heft or substance, just intangible pixels.

And then I bought a Kobo.

I bought one because I couldn’t afford an ipad. Ipads look like magical tablets from the future. I really wanted a magical tablet. So I thought maybe a Kobo could be a substitute the way we buy a puppy-hungry child a goldfish. I still want an ipad, but in the meantime I’ve fallen in love with my goldfish.

 

For Christmas I received a Kobo cover that looks like an old book, so I can read comfortably by the fire (I never actually do that, I usually read in bed or while waiting outside various buildings for my daughter to finish various activities). I hold the book (see, I even call it a book now) and just tap my thumb down to turn the pages (and to think I believed my life couldn’t get more sedentary).

My Kobo is with me the way some people are attached to their smart phone. My phone is usually in the pocket of something I’m not wearing.

Here’s what I love about my Kobo.

It currently holds 32 books. I go through my day with 32 books always within reach. That makes me so happy. And the number is growing.

I can borrow library books on my Kobo. No more overdue fines, the books dissolve into the ether when their time with me is through. But better still, no more turning a library book page to find a creepy stain or worse, a sticky thing you’re terrified will fall off the before you finish reading.

If I can’t find my reading glasses, instead of the frustrated hunt that takes up my reading time, I just increase the text size.

No one asks to borrow a Kobo. I don’t lend books (except to a very select few) because people often read violently (or so I assume after seeing the condition of returned books) or they read while eating melting chocolate or peanut butter. But far worse than those who sully books are the non-returners. The jolly folks who say that was such a good read I passed it to my sister, and either the sister brings it back from her beach vacation with oily sunscreen spots and an apology for leaving the dust jacket on the plane – or she passes it to her friend’s cousin and I’m left wondering the appropriateness of getting the book’s cover on a milk carton.

Of course, I will never buy my favourite authors digitally, Alice Munro, Ian McEwan, Jonathan Franzen, A.S. Byatt to name a mere few. A book like “Stories About Storytellers” by Douglas Gibson or any short story collection, is meant to slide off a shelf and be dipped into on a rainy day – maybe even by a fire.

Certain books are a part of my life. I buy them beautiful bookmarks and they surround me like a shawl as I put my words on paper.

I would be heartbroken and sad for future generations if all they had were their magic tablets. As much as I’ve fallen for my Kobo, there’s something to be said for old magic.

Kim R.

Turkey Tales

I am hosting the family Thanksgiving dinner again this year, so there is a really large turkey in my fridge.

I love turkey dinner, and I have had great success with them over the years; creamy mashed potatoes, steamed carrots, peas, rich gravy, my grandmother’s sage and onion stuffing, mince tarts and pumpkin pie. I’ve roasted many turkeys and gotten a little cocky about the whole thing.

The last time I made a turkey, my neighbour Jen popped over and asked if I had a meat thermometer she could borrow to test her own turkey’s progress. She promised to bring it right back. I assured her in my smug/humble I’m an awesome turkey roaster voice, that there was no rush, I never used it.

Let me state that I love hosting family dinners, but because my family lives in other cities, it’s usually a three day visit, not just a holiday meal. Getting ready for house guests often leaves me tired before they even arrive. I tell you this as partial explanation for what happened at that last turkey meal.

I was in the kitchen serving up the creamy potatoes, steaming carrots, etc… and my daughter was taking the plates to the dining room where my husband was carving and serving the turkey.

The last plate had left the kitchen and I turned my attention to filling a basket with warm buttery rolls. Then I sashayed into the dining room, roll basket in one hand, half empty glass of wine in the other and screamed.

My father was pouring gravy onto a piece of turkey that was baby pink and covered in ice crystals. Someone who had had more sleep and less wine would have calmly said “Oh dear,” and removed the plate. I dropped the rolls, screamed “No! Don’t eat that!” grabbed the frosty turkey in my fist, and with golden gravy oozing through my fingers, ran to the kitchen and pitched it in the sink.

There wasn’t a sound from the dining room until I burst out laughing and my terrorized family felt it was safe to take a breath. Some of the meat went into the microwave, some back into the oven. The meal was a little disjointed and not really great but we hobbled to the holiday dinner finish line. I still can’t explain my behavior any more than I can explain why my husband didn’t notice that the tender white breast he was carving was becoming turkey sushi as he got closer to the bone.

Mine isn’t the best turkey story in the family. That still belongs to my mom: Christmas dinner at least 35 years ago, the turkey tipped off the platter and bounced down the basement stairs. There are many versions of what happened next, some say we ate only vegetables that year, others claim the stuffing tumbled out of the falling turkey, while my mother insists it had already been removed to a serving bowl, others believe we gave the turkey a wipe over with paper towels and the meal went as planed, but with a little more laughter that normal.

Like a good fish tale it doesn’t matter where the truth lies. I’m sure when my fist-o-turkey story has had a few years to ripen it will include embellished details, like me tripping on a fallen roll and sliding into the cat.

Even though the goal is often a picture perfect holiday, perfection is rarely memorable. On the flip side, food poisoning is a little too memorable. So, sorry Jen, but I won’t be lending my meat thermometer this year.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Kim R.

Trees

It’s crazy how happy that little red leaf makes me. It’s hanging on the little Sunset Maple I bought about a week ago. It’s the only backyard tree on my side of the street.

When we decided to move to this neighbourhood, we chose our lot and house from sketches and projections of the future neighbourhood. Distant future. While picking bathroom tile and kitchen pot lights, we gave no thought to life without trees. We should have. I really miss the trees from my old neighbourhood.

A few years back in Oakville Ontario, Joyce Burnell heard that a 250 year old white Oak tree was going to be cut down to make way for a road. She decided to try to save it. Maybe because she was 86 at the time and understood that there is beauty in age, something worth celebrating not casting aside.

She was told by city council that if she could raise the $343,000 to divert the road the tree could be saved. Through corporate donations, fundraisers, benefit concerts, and Burnell’s complete dedication to the cause, she succeeded.

It’s not unusual for a save-the-tree story to pop up on the nightly news from time to time. People like trees. In fact, William Sullivan, associate professor at the University of Illinois, who studies the effects of nature on human functioning, has found that we actually need trees.

He says that over the course of our evolution, an empty landscape would be cause to feel anxious. Having a tree provides shade and shelter, a gauge for distances, and a landmark for feeling oriented in our surroundings. His studies have shown that trees still create a sense of calm and relieve mental fatigue, in a way that nothing else does. He says that regular contact with trees can strengthen communities and even increase our satisfaction with our lives.

But there is an interesting twist to the Joyce Burnell story that leaves me wondering if the trees benefit from our presence as well.

Not long after she saved the tree, it began to produce seeds, after years and years of not doing so. It was, after all, 250 years old. Likely long past the tree equivalent of a hot flash.

Those seeds were collected and nurtured by a conservation association. Last spring Joyce Burnell died at age 90. This fall, 500 little trees, offspring of the tree she saved, will be available to plant.

Maybe when I sit by my maple, the calm, happy energy, flows both ways.

Kim R.

Fall

I’ve been eyeing my flannel sheets every time I open the linen closet. It’s the cheery snowman pattern that makes me decide it’s still too soon. But it won’t be long.

Last June I welcomed summer. I wrote that summer was a hippie in Jesus sandals, a popsicle coloured, coconut scented time of late nights and simplicity. But hippies tend to be irresponsible, and the late nights take their toll. Luckily Fall always shows up with a warm pie and a plan to put life back on track. Fall is your friend’s cool mom.

Fall drinks full bodied wine and eats soft cheese on warm baguette. Fall sleeps in a little on Saturdays, and then bakes cinnamon buns.

Fall cleans Summer’s pantry of ketchup chips and gummy worms and fills it with nuts and dense whole grain breads.

Fall is children in bright white running shoes and stiff jeans. A transition to new grades, new schools and new resolve. Even if you haven’t sat in a classroom in 30 years you buy new pens.

Fall has plans to stick to a budget, and watch portion size. It’s hopeful and enthusiastic without New Year’s desperation and official resolutions. Fall plans healthy meals while secretly anticipating the mini chocolate bars at the end of October.

Fall is fading light while you clean up the kitchen, tea on the front steps with someone you love and new episodes of 30 Rock and The Office.

Fall sounds like distant trains and smells like wood smoke. It tosses aside Summer’s trashy novels, and reads something thick and thoughtful while stew simmers on the stove.

Summer is still here for now, sleeping on a deck chair, but it pulls a blanket to its chin in the mornings. We’ve had a wonderful time but I need to buy some pens.

Kim R.